Jack's Page

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If you've got the rodents, I've got the time...Jack

My kitty mom (Bougainvillea) is a Siamese, and her owner spent 5 or 6 years breeding her once a year to get a litter of Siamese kittens because she loves kittens. One year, Bougie got out for 20 minutes or so. Her owner took her in afterwards to be bred, and when my brother and sisters and I were born, we were all black and white and calico! What a surprise!

My current mom and dad had decided to get a kitten, and wanted it to be a male, either Siamese or black and white. They got all that in one cat with me!

My hobbies are yowling, eating, and beating up Bob.

This is another of my hobbies: getting facelick from my Papa.

I am the solid gold cat-so far I have been hit by cars twice, but the chief damage has been to my owners' bank accounts. My second contretemps with an auto cost me 2 teeth, I chipped a canine, I broke my jaw, and fractured two ribs. But I stayed happy and purring the whole time, and they were glad when I could come home again. Funny thing- I picked up a cold at the vet's where I was boarded until I could come home. I ended up sneezing with fractured ribs. Do you think those mean humans sympathized? No, they just kept making nasty comments about the results of playing with cars...

That was two years ago, and so far I haven't been to the vet this year except for an annoying habit I have of losing my claws when I get in fights...first there was Mr. Big who thought he could come into MY yard, and a couple of months after he moved away, Arnold SchwarzePersian showed up in the neighborhood. What's a cat to do?

I like to catch and eat small animals, especially squirrels...the best way to do this is to wait until my people are out back, sitting on the patio. Then I have my live lunch about 10 feet away, close enough for them to hear all the crunchy gooshy squeaky sound effects, but far enough to keep them from stopping me! What fun!

Well, it's a year later; my people took me to the vet to have my teeth cleaned, and that tooth I broke 3 years ago when I got in the way of the car is now gone. I feel much better- they really didn't know it, but it hurt a lot. Now I'm feeling so good that all I want to do is purr and lick and sleep in their laps. What a good time to be a cat!

Here you can see that I'm just as cute
with my tooth missing.

Jack's Song*

Kitteny Boy,
You're my Jacker-wacker,
Kitteny Boy,
No one is white or blacker,
You are my joy,
You are my Kitteny boy.

Kitteny boy,
You're my kitty-witty,
Kitteny boy,
No one is half so pretty,
You are my joy,
You are my Kitteny boy.

*Tune: Beautiful Girls by Arthur Freed

I have a new trick, too...I know when Mom's alarm is about to go off. 5 minutes before it does, I cuddle up in bed all warm and purry. She hates getting up then, especially when she was going to school and getting up early! I'm so cruel!

And yet, here it is 1998, I'm almost 6 years old and I'm still stupid. I played in traffic AGAIN this last February...

The Saga of Jack

My mom came home one evening in the middle of February; Papa said he hadn't seen me in 24 hours. Now, I am a cat of regular habits, most of which are calculated to annoy my Papa, and one of those habits is to walk around yelling every morning until he lets me lick the milk out of his cereal bowl. If I didn't show up for breakfast, they knew it was probably because I had done something stupid, as of course I had.

Mom found me about an hour later...it was raining and I was hiding under the house. I figured I only had one chance to be found, and was waiting for one of my people to walk by. Well, of course they made me go to the emergency vet. I had a hernia and other damage to my insides; Mom and Papa had to wait a couple of hours to find out what was wrong with me, of course, but it was worth it, since they got to hear all the vets and technicians talk about what a good boy I am when I'm being examined.

So after midnight surgery, and a few days with my regular vet (Dr. Roehrkasse, she's wonderful. Almost as good as a cat!) I came home...shaved, bruised and not feeling very good. But I didn't want to eat, or lick, or meow. After a few days they took me back to the vet, and I got to stay for a week. Mom visited me in the slammer every day, and I got a little bit better...but still didn't eat, and was coughing and choking a lot.

Mom took me to a specialist my vet recommended, and she put a tracheascope down my throat...and found out that my stomach ligament had been broken when I got hit by the car, and my stomach was trying to crawl up my throat! No wonder I didn't feel like eating!

That was how I got a stomach tube. Of course, I licked and bit at the bandages...so my mean parents put me in...a BABY T-SHIRT!!! Mom says I have to put the pictures here to humiliate me enough not to go in the street again.

Here I am objecting violently to my t-shirt...
and to the right, you can see my silly shaved belly.
Cats should not have their pictures taken in these circumstances!
Oh, yes, I'm fine now. The tube came out three weeks later and in this picture you can just see the hole in my side...this'll teach them not to tell me when they've paid off their Visa card!!!

Mom's Revenge... she's started taking fiddle lessons! Now, I'm generally a cat who likes to get along with everyone, or at least ignore the people I don't actually own...but this is too much! Mom is very amused, because it's not a personal comment; I don't just hate her playing because she's not very good at it yet, I hate ALL FIDDLES! Every time someone starts playing that evil instrument, I crouch down to the floor, put my ears back and go looking for an exit. If the weather's really bad, I'll cuddle up beside Papa and make him pet me. Mom tells me that fiddle strings come from cats who get hit by cars, and that the D string on her fiddle used to be named Fluffy...can that be true? Is there a way to stop her? Poor me!

A little while ago, Mom got Papa an iBook (she SAID it was for him, but Papa and I didn't believe her...). A few months later, she got really sick and stayed home from work for a couple of days...amused herself playing games on Papa's computer...and one night, she left it on the coffee table to charge, plugged into the closest outlet, which was across the room.

Later that evening, I came into the back room with a wild look on my face...Mom and Papa are used to this, and didn't think much of it...until later, when Mom went to put the computer away. She was winding up the cord, and it SPARKED at her...it seems that someone had chewed into it while it was plugged in. Wonder who that could have been?

2001: Mom and Dad were amazed...I hadn't been to the vet in a LONG TIME. Then Mom stopped by to pick up some (ugh!) flea drops...and mentioned to Papa that there was a receptionist who didn't know who I was! Well! I had to do something about that...so I got two abcesses on my head, within about 4 months, both of which required a vet visit and drains and ALL KINDS of attention. Guess she'll make sure I'm properly introduced to the new staff at the cat hospital from now on!

The only bad part was the stupid blue collar...

Mom and Papa have brought home a KITTEN! Oh NO!

Oh man. Here I was top cat, the best of the best, praised and admired by all...and they had to get another cat. Does this mean I'm NOT their favorite? Could they be tired of me?

Look, I'm just as
cute as that kitten! See?
See how wonderful I still am?

Okay...MAYBE he's not so bad...but he better not get in my way...

Well, it's been two months. The kitten is still here, so I guess it's here for good. I've forgiven Papa, since he's my only source of face lick, but I'm gonna make sure Mom knows how annoyed I am. I still love her, especially late at night when I can cuddle with her and keep warm, and once in a while I still help her with her baths (since she already taught the kitten that baths are just for Head Only Number One Top Cat...that's me!) but I'm going to act standoffish for a while more...can't have my folks thinking they can bring home other cats whenever they please without asking me nicely first!

I mean, really...I don't like Bob much, but we did pretty well on our own...

Uh oh, we're moving...better make sure I get taken along. Bob, move over... <

I guess this new place isn't so bad. Not much of a yard, but the trees in back are nice. But there are huge raccoons! I think I'll stay in a lot...lucky the back room where Mom and Papa watch stuff is nice enough for all three of us...

And it's time for the holidays again. Look what mom did to me...she shouldn't be allowed near a computer...

And we're moving again. I generally hate moving, but I have to say, this is a good one. Mom and Papa were very careful this time...they found a place in a nice neighborhood, with trees and grass and birds and squirrels, and a few other cats for me to put in their places! I guess they had to bring along Bob and Wilson...but I'm not going to even pretend to be buddies with them.

And of course I'm much more adorable than they are! Mom and Dad always love me best, because I'm
Head Number One Only Top Cat Jack!

Moving again? I'm really getting tired of this...I don't want to leave my grass and trees...oh, but the new place has sun in the mornings...that's awfully nice...I'm 14 now, and heat feels very good...as long as Mom and Papa promise NOT to move again for a LONG, LONG time.

Yes, this is not so bad...nice yard, lots of sunshine, a good fence, and dogs to torment. I even caught and ate a couple of roof rats before winter set in! yum, yum! Here I am helping Mom and Papa move in and unpack their books... and I better check these empty boxes, make sure there's nothing left in them.
Mmmm, the tansu has a warm lamp. Mom and Papa put a kitty bed under it for me at Christmas! You brought in a new table? better make sure it's good for cats... Here's where I show Mom and Papa that I'm WAY cuter than Wilson will ever be...

July 31, 1992 - February 17, 2007